Time Is Money

Except, for maybe this time...

Everything is losing hold, my sanity, my "hope" and anything that could have been.
I drove myself to the edge and "I" caved. Is that "letting go"?
What more can I offer.
Note that, I am not asking a question here just stating a fact.
What more can I offer.
All the words I hear are flooding my mind. Including those which once filled me with joy.

My dreams have turned to dust. I guess some dreams really should be crushed. Venture Capitalists, should be called Vulture Cannibals'. Fly by night take the money and run! Here today and gone tomorrow. Better get it done fast, because it's not gonna last. A little like that paper, I used to jot this crap on.

I grew up listening to Kate Bush and Pink Floyd. Their words were so filled with declarative statements. What I've learned is... the less one is likely to make declarative statements, the less one is likely to look foolish in retrospect. Oh, what a fool I've been. Now I return to the world of the working. Selling my time for money. TIME, that which some may view as their "most valuable commodity". [If you're picking up what I'm dropping...then you KNOW "time" is the next barrier to be broken on our way towards the infinite.]

It is of no matter...

There really is so little that we human beings can offer except bartering time for money.

Which I view not as progress, but a result of industry and technology, you know, the branch of knowledge that deals with the creation and use of technical means and their interrelation with life, society, and the environment, drawing upon applied science and pure science. The sum of the ways in which social groups provide themselves with the material objects of their civilization. [I'll spare you my diatribe on Political Science, it doesn't even rate a mention at this point in time, all things considered!]

So... does that make us all scientologists and we just don't know it?And if so, why is everyone giving them shit for their beliefs? Why do so many people make the mistake of confusing belief for being a sale out? Do we have to turn to the blue eyed figure for answers to prayers and if that's okay, why are so many people down on those who pray to the blue skinned god? siva or ganesha or the other 45 + deities out there?

"Let's pretend we don't exist, let's pretend we're in Antarctica"... sorry about that. I must confess here that I am a bit of a technofreak and my 60GB ipod music carried me away for a moment there. "I'm a consumer WHORE!!!". Eh, hem... back to the current dilemma.

I guess this is where I fail. I don't wish/ hope/ request success. All I ever wanted was to live. Not drive myself towards anything but clarity. And, in some ways I can say that I do see things clearer. But, I most definitely have not made a shift in the universe. Not through my will, which was and is the only thing that we really own and was ever going to present a possible truth in my becoming an in-light-end member of the human race.

Or, so I thought.

So, back to work I go... Hi-Ho (get it Ho?) tee-hee, at least I can maintain a sense of humor in all of this so called Life. Maybe I've become comfortably NUMB. Living is not a guarantee of freedom.
It is of no matter...

One of these days.

See, here are truly some words that I subscribed to memory and wish to pass on. But, yet again I cannot remember who said them first.

"Real thinking requires courage. Question who you are. Interpret life through the eyes of your own experience. All cultures are cultures of conformity. The only failures are that of lessons unlearned [Starfisher gets credit for that last one, thanks Sarah]".

As for myself, the times I ever felt really free were singing along with the spree and now that joy has escaped me. But, I am a permanent member of the FRAGILE ARMY!